James Bond In A Red Diaper!
Look, let’s be honest: isn’t that the first thing you think when you see this picture? It’s real, and it’s from one of the strangest films of all time – the wacky sci-fi film “Zardoz!”
There are certain movies that gain infamy for being – well, so over the top, creative inspired or just plain psychodelically CRAZY – that you tell people to watch them just to see their minds blown!
I mean – LOOK AT SEAN CONNERY HERE!
How can you NOT want to know what in the world is going on here? Well, wonder no more! Here is the story of Sean Connery, a giant floating head, and some of the craziest dialogue you’ll ever hear!
Directed by John Boorman.
Ready to have your mind blown? I mean, BLOWN BLOWN BLOWN?
Let’s get started by checking out this trailer, and be ready for madness to descend…
This film was directed by John Boorman, who had made the brilliant “Deliverance”…As you can see from the trailer, is is one CRAZY FILM – starring James Bond!
OK, here is the plot:
In the distant future Earth is divided into two camps, the barely civilized group and the overly civilized one with mental powers. A plague is attacking the second group, after which its members cease to have any interest in life and become nearly catatonic. When Zed, one of the barbarians, crosses over, the tenuous balance in their world is threatened.
Here are the opening lines of the movie….as this huge stone head floats over the English countryside…
“I am Arthur Frayn, and I am Zardoz. I have lived three hundred years, and I long to die. But death is no longer possible. I am immortal. I present now my story, full of mystery and intrigue – rich in irony, and most satirical. It is set deep in a possible future, so none of these events have yet occurred, but they *may.* Be warned, lest you end as I. In this tale, I am a fake god by occupation – and a magician, by inclination. Merlin is *my* hero! I am the puppet master. I manipulate many of the characters and events you will see. But *I* am invented, too, for your entertainment – and amusement. And you, poor creatures, who conjured *you* out of the clay? Is God in show business too?”
Pause for a moment to let that sink in….OK? It’ gets wilder!
Here is more wacky dialogue:
[the gigantic Stone Head hovers before the worshipful horde of Exterminators]
Zardoz: Zardoz speaks to you, His chosen ones.
Exterminators: We are the chosen ones!
Zardoz: You have been raised up from Brutality, to kill the Brutals who multiply, and are legion. To this end, Zardoz your God gave you the gift of the Gun. The Gun is good!
Exterminators: The Gun is good!
Zardoz: The Penis is evil! The Penis shoots Seeds, and makes new Life to poison the Earth with a plague of men, as once it was. But the Gun shoots Death and purifies the Earth of the filth of Brutals. Go forth, and kill! Zardoz has spoken.
Things continue to go “beyond bizarre” as 007 begins to impregnate all of the women, which we see in detail:
To completely understand how warped this movie is, stop for a moment: take a deep breath, then get your head around this fact: “Zardoz” is a film that has a giant rock head flying over the countryside saying “the penis is evil!”
Look, this is one warped classic, wildly and weirdly entertaining, so check it out! Oh, it was directed by John Boorman, who also made the worst sequel of all time: “The Exorcist II: The Heretic!”
And it wasn’t just the 70’s giving us weirdly controversial movies:
Leave it to the Japanese to come up with a controversial movie trailer! Click here to see the “jiggle” trailer for “As The Gods Will”:
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Categories: 70's Films, Artsploitation, Books / Media, Camp Cult Classics, Classic Action Films, Cult Classics, Exploitation Films, Grindhouse, JRsploitation, Nudity, Talent / Celebrites, Uncategorized