“Psyched By The 4D Witch!” The WORST Film Of All Time? You Decide! See The “Trans-Etheric Vision” If You Dare!

Have you ever done this? Well, not “burning” money so much as wasting hard-earned dollars on a film that was SO awful, SO inept, that you wanted to throw something at the movie screen?

Well, then you must have also paid to see THIS!

PSYCHED BY THE 4D WITCH!

That’s right:

PSYCHED BY THE 4D WITCH.

Never heard of it? Well, I PAID TO SEE IT ONCE!

Which meant that I must have seen the magic of “Trans-Etheric Vision!”

Growing up in Seattle, I used to save movie ads from my local newspapers – and dream of sneaking into the “R” rated films that I was too young to see.

I would try to find cashiers who had a “more causal” attitude about “r” rated films – allowing me to see some wildly entertaining films like these:

Unfortunately, I wanted to see EVERYTHING – so I lied about my age, paid my hard-earned money, and got to see this!

Why is it so bad? Well, to begin with, is it even a movie? The film begins with some b-roll of a city, AND a young women wandering around a bit:

Oh, and did I mention that she’s just NOT THAT GOOD LOOKING?????

I mean, I snuck into “R” rated films to see things they didn’t show in the movies they were making for kids my age….stuff like this:

I was a young male teenager – I had goals like everyone else!

Lack of looks aside, here is what this “MOVIE” consists of. That Actress wanders around a city while a dull VoiceOver talks about nonsensical stuff.

Then, she takes her clothes off and writhes around on a bed.

That’s it, you have a film! Here’s the intro, which give s you a great idea of what to expect!

HA! So It’s A “Tale Of Demonology!”

Written and directed by Victor Luminera, “Psyched by the 4D Witch” tells the tale of Cindy, a teenager and novice witch recently contacted by her dead ancestor Abigail — who’s popped down from the “Astral realm” to teach Cindy how she can have “an adventurous sex life and still remain a virgin.”

As you can see, the quality of the film is horrendous – but what about the audio?

Don’t worry about dialogue, there is none!

Remember, I PAID TO SEE THIS IN A MOVIE THEATER.

There was NO synched audio, it was all told via narration and poorly lit scenes that weren’t sexy at all.

And it had this theme song:

“So beware of the 4D witch, beware.

She’s in your mind, she’s everywhere.

She came from the belly of the devil’s bitch.

Beware of the 4D witch.”

Get it? This is movie making so lazy and cynical, it was destined to take $5 out of the pocket of a young kid who would pay to see anything! You know – ME!

By the way, look at the show times for this double bill – the films were barely over an hour long each!

I’ll leave you with a quote that could only come from “Psyched by the 4D Witch (A Tale of Demonology)”:

“Make love to a female corpse? Of a close friend? You are Satantic, Abigail! You are a devil worshipper. And this is one of Satan’s rituals for sure! ‘Cause I read about them.”

OK then! Oh, and about the other film showing:

I don’t remember anything about the co-feature, but the poster looks good! Turns out it’s a 1965 film pulled out of mothballs. In the Old West, a female vampire preys on unsuspecting cowboys!

Oh, and thanks to our friends at Something Weird video, “Psyched By The 4D Witch” is still around to steal you blind!

And yes, I own it! What can I say, a film this bad HAS to be watched more than once!

I shared another ad from growing up:

Yes, I wanted to get into the Garden Theater to see “Deep Throat” but they were having none of it!

Click here to see the story of this XXX-classic!

https://jrsploitation.com/2020/02/07/deep-throat-and-x-rated-box-office-seattles-original-newspaper-ads-varietys-xxx-rated-box-office-charts/

If you like these stories, and don’t want to miss any of my “2020 Sex Kitten Countdown”, then go to my website’s front page and sign on to follow me – there are NO ads at all, just lots of stories to come about the wild world of exploitation and cult films!

Click here and see the “follow” button on the upper right!

https://jrsploitation.com

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Categories: 70's Films, Books / Media, Camp Cult Classics, Exploitation Films, JRsploitation, Nudity

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

7 replies

  1. I had to read this. I, too, used to clip movie ads from the newspaper and I was also suckered into seeing this crap, er…film, but thankfully not in the theater. I had seen trailers for it (!?!) and the title alone was irresistible. I bought the Something Weird DVD as well. True, i use Monster A GoGo (the first film on the Something Weird double feature DVD) as a moniker, but even that film is suck-butt awful. (But not as bad as PSYCHED BY THE 4-D WITCH.) As bad as this film was/is, I’d love to have the original movie poster. Ha! Thanks for the post. CHEERS!

    Liked by 1 person

    • PS As I said, i used to cut out/save movie ads from my local newspaper growing up, much like you apparently did. However, i graduated (at the age of 11) to collecting the actual movie posters instead. You can view my collection (with a few examples tucked away in boxes before my blog started) in my blog: https://mymoviepostercollectionagogo.blogspot.com/ if you care to take a look. The posts for 2020 are not that great–mostly crap with a few exceptions here and there. (I’m trying to curtail my buying due to an upcoming move and I’ve been broke.) But there may be things that interest you along the way. Lots of exploitation, sexploitation, adult titles and horror posters in there. CHEERS!

      Like

    • Hey, so great to hear from you! Yes, I spent years working every movie theater in Seattle trying to get in to “R” rated movies, and once in a while got one like this – and yes, even though it was so bad I bought the SWV because I had to! Again, great to hear from you!

      Like

      • I used to try to get in to R rated (Never tried to get into an X-rated flick while young, though) while under age. It worked a few times. In 8th grade, I got into things like HALLOWEEN…but was often shut down. Eventually, I started getting my poor grandmother to take me. O’ that poor, sweet woman. She put up with all manner of horrors for me. The one she couldn’t handle—DAWN OF THE DEAD–she waited for me in the lobby so I could sit and see the film. After that, we would go together but she would buy separate tickets—something for her to see while I watched ZOMBIE or THE BOOGEYMAN. Ha! Eventually, I was able to pass for being over 17 fairly frequently and got to see things like a re-release of THE EXORCIST, FRIDAY THE 13TH, THE SHINING, etc. on my own.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Thanks for sharing! My Mom used to drop me and my friends off at R-rated films: buy a ticket, go in with us, then leave and come back later!

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Full marks to the ad men for selling you on the idea of the 4D Witch! And even now, you have bought the DVD! I think you were well and truly ‘psyched’ by her, John. 🙂
    Best wishes, Pete.

    Like

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